What Would Rayanne Graff Do?

September 26, 2012 § Leave a comment

The best, and possibly only upside to My So-Called Life‘s untimely end is that those who loved it get to forever play “choose-your-own-adventure” with its characters, plot, and possible off-screen romances (preferably to a soundtrack of all 90s alt rock). There are far worse ways to spend your time (right?). The series’ premature finale left its fans enough variables and unfinished plotlines to give 50 Shades of Grey a run for its money.

Though I somehow missed the life and times of Angela Chase the first time around (I think I was very young), I made up for lost time by watching the entire series in one sitting last weekend. Honestly, I’m a bit of a wreck. Much of my days since have been spent dealing with overwhelming waves of angst and an uncontrollable attraction to boys in flannel, and chin length hair (my okCupid visiting history will attest to this). It’s like puberty, only I don’t smell as bad and I own expensive things. Although much of this is business as usual, I have been feeling true and unprecedented pangs of nostalgia for high school. Maybe not even my high school, but TV high school, where you could hang out all day in the girls’ washroom, were only allowed 1 best friend and Jared Leto wanted to shove his tongue down your throat (because that’s what you’re supposed to do).

In the world of MSCL, high school literally never ended, because they cancelled it. In our world, friends grew apart, and those crushes you once had may now feel a bit embarrassing. In TV high school, there is such a word as “forever”, and in ours too, only once you graduate you start to “play things by ear” (which could possibly be the most horribly boring phrase in the english language). Though some of the emotions were intense–and I’ll admit, as high school experiences go, I had it pretty easy–I would trade the irrational passion of high school for the too-cool-for-school gotta-get-serious attitude of 20-something-hood any day.

Maybe this is all wishful thinking and naive, but so what? And even if living our lives with hearts high leads us to  crash and burn in a horrible bloody mess, at least we’ll know we have hearts. I don’t mean to turn this into an after school special, or to imply that the themes of this teen drama are necessarily the most important (however universal at their source and exceptionally executed), but there’s something in their “forever” that make me feel mournful. Like the best part of life got cancelled.

So maybe this is where a little fan fiction steps in, not only for the sake of Brian Krakow (he was so close!), but for the sake of our sometimes boring so-called lives. After all, what makes life exciting is our excitement to be part of it–even if all that means is enjoying an entire Saturday on the couch, listening to R.E.M., and dreaming of a boy you’ll never get to kiss.

Edit: In reality, I don’t think Rayanne Graff would ever stay in on a Saturday night, or dream of kissing a boy instead of actually kissing him, but goals are important too, you know? Anyways, who asked you?

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