To do: Have sex at Casa Loma

October 6, 2012 § Leave a comment

As if I needed more reasons to love this wasted piece of real estate. Ok. maybe not wasted, but sex deprived.

The problem with Casa Loma is that it’s so expensive and so particular in its architecture and decor (which is protected by heritage preservation bi-laws)  that anyone rich enough to buy it may as well just build their own crazy castle on an island somewhere (which they’d also own) and sprinkle it with fairy dust so that it can fly.

See, I’m really torn on this one: On the one hand I believe they (you know, them) should convert Casa Loma into beautiful multi-use living spaces; spaces that most of us will never be able to afford, but at least “people” will live there. If “they” need help on how this could be best done, I have a few ideas.

On the other hand why not keep it open to the public so that once in a blue moon you and I can participate a veritable tea party, go searching for ghosts, attend an extravagant thanksgiving brunch, or, best of all, go for DATE NIGHT ARCHERY, all mostly at the expense of our city. Eat that, rob ford.

The idea of date night archery is so hilarious and wonderful that I want to meet whoever thought of it and kiss them on the mouth using also my mouth. Of course the first things that came to mind when I discovered this were: 1. Katniss and Peta would have loved this. 2. I wonder if Jennifer Lawrence knows about this 3. I should get a twitter account so that I can let her know and ultimately become her best friend. and 4. Emma (that was pre goop, right?)

It seems as though October is one of the best months to go and as I am certain rob ford hates Casa Loma, I can really see no downside in supporting its hilarious albeit cheesy collection of fun-filled events. Worse case scenario: you have a horrible time and sneak off  to find a corner to have sex in. Best case scenario, you eat a turkey, shoot an arrow, and sneak off to find a corner to have sex in. I’m sure there are at least 3.

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